You may or may not have noticed it’s been a while since my last blog, but I have news.
I’ve been doing a Kate
Sadly, not the immaculate hair, smooth skin and a perfect figure but rather I have spent an extensive amount of time crouched over examining the finer details of my toilet bowl. I know neither Kate, nor I, are the first women ever to have morning sickness (yep, I’m pregnant) but this took me by surprise.
At the beginning of my first two pregnancies, I felt sick most of the day and found myself vomiting outside supermarkets, in my work car-park and frequently in my loo at home. But this was a whole new deal.
For about three weeks I barely left my bed. I have dreamed of this scenario in the past few years (the staying in bed all day rather than growing another human-being) but it really wasn’t what I’d hoped. I didn’t read any books, didn’t do any writing and couldn’t even bare to watch a TV programme. I simply lay in bed, ate hourly and tried not to vomit. The nausea was overwhelming and simply standing triggered the start gun to fire, heralding my sprint to the bathroom. I checked out the advice and employed every tactic in the book.
Over the last few weeks, I have begun feeling myself again and started sharing our news. Three questions dominate my friend’s lips;
Was it planned?
Would you like a girl or boy?
When’s it due?
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the first question. It is over seven years since I had my last baby and I’ve spent a lot of that time saying I couldn’t do it again. I am a little taken back though. If the answer was No’ then wouldn’t I feel a little awkward? If it isn’t planned it’s happening anyway so why talk about it now.
I suspect ‘Was it planned?’ should be thrown alongside ‘Are you pregnant?’ as one of those questions it’s rarely good to ask. If someone is pregnant and wants you to know, then they’ll tell you. It can be a very sensitive subject for many, especially women who try for a very long time.
The good news is my answer is a definite
We’ve spent more than eighteen months discussing and debating whether we should try and have another (you never know if you’ll successfully get pregnant). We very firmly decided we didn’t know the right’ answer. Our conversations went round in circles for months. We noticed that some questions do not have a right or wrong answer. So when this happens we did what all good Christians do,
We flipped a coin
Only kidding, but we got close.
Really what we decided was that trying to have another baby was a very silly idea. Then we realised that having a baby isn’t ever sensible. So we resorted to asking ourselves what decision would we least regret.
Anyway, after a few months I had a miscarriage earlier this year (maybe I’ll tell you about that one day) and so we came to the decision to stop trying. I was sad about this decision but at peace with the fact that our family is just perfect; then we turned around and the two blue lines appeared.
As far as the second question goes; I want a baby that breathes when they come out. When Jonah first heard the news he asked,
Will it be like me or Sammy?
J loves his big brother, but he misses being able to talk to him, play with him and do all the things he loves doing with his cousins.
For me, I’m quite reluctant to say a preference for a sex as I think it implies I’d be disappointed if it turned out to be the other. I will not be disappointed.
And ‘when is it due?’ the beginning of May. To be precise, it will be when the consultant books in a C-section. Having had two already, my midwife seems reluctant to allow me to have a home birth, complete with paddling pool and whale music.
Now any similarities I once had with Kate have sadly diminished. Her ‘little’ bump is laughable next to my fully grown football (clearly she did more sit ups than me). And she certainly has the glowing thing down. My version of glowing is brushing my teeth and hair before I leave the house.
I’m now hoping that absence makes the heart grow fonder and you’ll continue to read my ramblings about this new adventure, as I love my boys, and this baby, the best I can.